Will Rogers tongue in cheek
advice:
1. Never slap a man
who's chewing tobacco.
2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
3. There are 2 theories to arguing with a
woman...neither works.
4. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
5. Always drink upstream from the herd.
6. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.
7. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it
and put it back in your pocket.
8. There are three
kinds of men: The ones that learn by reading. The few who l learn by observation. The rest of them
have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves.
9. Good judgment
comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
10. If you're riding' ahead of the herd, take a look back every
now and then to make sure it's still there.
11. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n
puttin' it back.
12. After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so
good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot
him. The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
About growing older ...
First ~ Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying
about your age and start bragging about it.
Second ~ The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in
line for.
Third ~ Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I
want people to know "why" I look this way. I've traveled a long
way and some of the roads weren't paved.
Fourth ~ When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to
youth, think of Algebra.
Fifth ~ You know you are getting old when everything either dries
up or leaks.
Sixth ~ I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to
the top.
Seventh ~ One of the many things no one tells you about aging is
that it is such a nice change from being young.
Eighth ~ One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day
has been.
Ninth ~ Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
Tenth ~ And finally ~ If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you
won't have anything to laugh at when you are old.