20 Ways for Seniors To Maintain Mental Health

           

 

             1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car

            With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer

            at Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

 

            2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom.

            Don't Disguise Your Voice.

 

             3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something,

            Ask If They Want Fries with That.

 

             4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk

            And Label It "In."

 

            5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks.

            Once Everyone Has Gotten Over Their Caffeine

             Addictions, Switch To Espresso.

 

             6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks,

             Write "For Sexual Favors"

 

             7. Finish All Your sentences with

             "In Accordance With The Prophecy."

 

            8. Don't use any punctuation

 

            9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

 

            10. Ask People What Sex They Are.

            Laugh Hysterically After They Answer.

 

            11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."

 

            12. Sing Along At The Opera.

 

            13. Go To A Poetry Recital And

             Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme

 

            14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area

            And Play Tropical Sounds All Day.

 

            15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends

            You Can't Attend Their Party Because

             You're Not In The Mood.

 

            16. Have Your Co-workers Address You

            By Your Wrestling Name, "Rock Hard."

 

            17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM,

            Scream "I Won!, I Won!"

 

            18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running

            Towards The Parking Lot, Yelling

            "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"

 

            19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner.

            "Due To The Economy, We Are Going

            To Have To Let One Of You Go."

 

            20. Send This E-mail To Someone

            To Make Them Smile..Its Called Therapy...